Building Rapport and Becoming More Influential by Understanding and Using your Personality Style

In the business world, understanding your own and others’ personality styles is a critical part of successful sales and business relationships. Likewise, in your personal life, relationship success is strongly impacted by understanding the way you and others operate–your values and fears, and the values and fears of those around you. Being able to be flexible and adaptable to others’ personality styles can create more rapport, intimacy and influence in your relationships.

There are many personality profiles out there, and they are all useful. The CARE profile is a personality assessment tool that not only helps you recognize your own personality style and values, but helps you be able to quickly identify others’ personality styles, learning to shift your style towards increasing rapport. One of the benefits is helping you interact more effectively with those who you might have labeled as difficult and avoided in the past.

What do we mean by rapport?

Definition: a bond of affinity or friendly relationship between people based on mutual liking, trust and a sense that they understand and share each other’s concerns.

Ask yourself these questions and rate yourself on a scale of 1-5, 5 being highest:

How well do I build rapport with prospective clients, current clients, co-workers, bosses, friends, family, acquaintances and those I just meet? Do people seem attracted to talking to me? Do they have a sense that I see them and understand them? Do others find me credible? Do I find it easy to relate to those I don’t know or who seem “different” than me?

If you answered 3 or below on any of these questions, you may benefit from taking the CARE personality profile to improve your rapport and influence.

The more quickly and effectively you can create rapport with a wide range of individuals, the more influential you can be. If you can understand and learn to occupy the values and characteristics of all the styles, even better.

How does this work?

Style Shifting

Style shifting is being aware of other people’s styles and adjusting or shifting your communication style to match theirs. It involves understanding what they value, what they may be afraid of, and whether they are primarily a thinker or a feeler. This does not mean managing or manipulating others—in fact it allows you to maintain honest and authentic communication.

There are 4 Personality Types in the CARE profile. None are better or worse or more preferable than the others. They are all important. In fact, on a work team, the more personality styles that are represented, the more successful the team. The goal is to have the ability to shift your communication style to be more in rapport with others quickly and effectively.

As a Transformational Coach at the Wright Foundation for the Realization of Human Potential, the CARE personality profile is a tool that I frequently use with my clients to help them understand themselves, their clients, co-workers, bosses, friends, partners, and family better.

I have also personally used this tool in my job to create more rapport with others and expand my business. I am a “Cooperator” in the CARE personality profile. I am more emotionally-based, and in the past have been more passive than active. I value relationships, inclusion, and making sure that everyone feels belonging and gets along. My biggest fears as a Cooperator are being rejected and not being liked. Historically, if someone had a face that looked distant, cold, or non-responsive, I would quickly end the conversation and move on. By understanding that other personality types might not show their excitement and enthusiasm as easily, I came to understand that they still may be interested but just not show it. I began being able to relate to the other 3 personality types better and to get in rapport more quickly with them. Even with the people who have historically rubbed me the wrong way I have learned how to create rapport with. With an understanding of what drives each personality type and what they value, I can shift my communication style in order to get in rapport more quickly.

So understanding your own and others’ personality types allows you to understand what others value. Shifting your style to match others’ styles allows you to have more rapport and to sell more, in addition to understanding others towards more influence and more satisfying relationships.

To redeem your FREE personality profile assessment and FREE 20 minute CARE profile consultation, please contact Beryl Stromsta at 773-592-1218, or at beryl@wrightliving.com.

Content provided by Women Belong member Beryl Stromsta