Living is Better When Self-Determined

A person’s best choices are made when not impeded by external influences.

Since I can remember, I’ve always struggled with being told what to do.

As a child, I had a lot to learn, but I wanted to be part of the discussion—a need to understand reasons for choices and actions. I realized when I disagreed with the reason and still needed to internally negotiate with this strong voice inside, balanced with an acknowledgement that choices do impact more than just myself. In my early years, I didn’t have the wisdom and life experience my parents and other adults in my world had. Depending on them to inform me and keep me safe is essential.

So, while I grew and expanded my wings, I had the safety net of my parents’ support, as well as inner strength and the knowledge that I was valued.

Looking back, I now understand more why I loved day planners. They were a space where I could plan my life, and the simple act of writing things down was a power of choice.

I created my first myLife Planner ten years ago, and to this day, the intention has stayed the same: encouraging a person to be the author of their own life. This was a struggle I have had that I wanted others to embrace and benefit from. It made sense to me and still does. If everyone had space to decide without influences from the outside, we’d make choices that, yes, benefited us but also those around us. This space allows us to embrace our empathy for our internal voice. In that, we acknowledge that each person has the same right, the ability to self-determine their life through choices, actions, and dreams.

Language is a mixed bag. One word can have more than one meaning, so in this instance, I’m sourcing my definition of Self Determination from the American Psychological Association:

Self-Determination n. the process or result of engaging in behaviors without interference or undue influence from other people or external demands. Self-determination refers particularly to behaviors that improve one’s circumstances, including decision making, problem solving, self-management, self-instruction, and self-advocacy.

I find the space I designed into the myLife series of tools is, for me and other customers, a quiet place to create space for them to connect with their inner voice. It makes sense to me that every choice every person has ever made is based on an outcome that improves their life experience. Even when we make choices that seem to be negative, they are likely made with an intention to support those they love and consider the cost worth it because they value the outcome.

Whether choosing the weekly or daily myLife tool, the space is designed to be a framework for each person to create each day with an intentional purpose. The print is intentionally very light because what is written down is more important than the structure. The flexibility of the design accounts for the understanding that each person’s needs are unique. It also allows for the ability to try new tactics in the same space when something doesn’t work, try something new, tweak, and redo.

Our lives are a journey of interactions and experiences, struggles and successes. The myLife tools are your personal space to journal and test out ideas, manage cycles of tasks, and bring dreams to life.

My life matters.

Your life matters.

Our lives matter, each and every one of us.

Prioritizing your wellness and happiness is like throwing a pebble into the community pond, which ripples and impacts those around you.

Putting yourself first is the first step to contributing and being part of the world. You are better positioned to support others out of kindness instead of obligation when you’re in a good space.

Check-in with yourself from time to time. It can be with a myWeek or myDay tool or as simple as a journal or scrap piece of paper. Write down the following:

1. Journal your dreams, struggles, and ideas.
2. Write down everything in your head that sounds like shoulds and musts.
3. Determine your priorities for the week and/or day.
4. Highlight the tasks and ideas that align with those priorities.
5. Schedule the time to complete those tasks into your calendar. Make space for you.

Taking this time for yourself may feel like playing ‘hookey,’ but just because it feels good doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter and needs to be addressed. This is because if you are like me, being raised in a social construct designed by an ideology that profits off of our labour and attention.

Rest and joy are not experiences to be earned. They are fundamental human rights.

Written by Crystal Reynolds, myLife Planners founder.

Content provided by Women Belong member Crystal Reynolds