When asked about ideal clients I always announce, “People who assume everyone is doing a better job at adulting.”  Frequently the line is met with a laughter of recognition.

Though we hear the word uttered more frequently than “Russian Collusion” the definition seems both elusive and fluid; Nonetheless, we weaponize against our worth.

Adulting boils down to self-care; in fact, it encompasses the very basics.  When we do not tend to your physical and emotional needs, we are unable to thrive.

What is self-care anyway?

Like adulting, this buzzword means a variety of things. What most people consider self-care I deem pampering.

Self-care is doing those things that allow for us to be our best selves.  I break it down into two categories:

The Mundane—those things that must be done so life can proceed as normal.  These are the items people talk about when the #Adulting on social media.

The Soul Sourcing—those activities, such as pampering, which source your soul.

News flash: If you are alive then you are adulting!

Surviving means you meet minimum requirements.  It indicates you have enough income for food and shelter.  For example, you have a job to which you arrive on time and perform the required tasks thus avoiding being fired.

But I still feel like a hotter mess than the Cuyahoga river, what can I do now? 

Create Good Habits

We spend a lot of time invalidating ourselves by comparing ourselves to our parents, friends and strangers on social media which is a pointless project.  First, we let some ideal that no one–not even Martha Stewart could fulfill–dictate our self-image?  This polished image of adulthood, and life, is the antithesis of authenticity.   It kills joy and connection.  People only share/show want they want to share.  I remember creating a self-care project with my coach bemoaning that everyone else seems to get enough sleep, eat well, drink enough water and exercise.  She responded with, “Are you sure? ”

Stop laughing at me!  #Absurd

We all think everyone else is doing it better.

Okay, where do I start?

Let’s begin with the mundane.  Read over the list below and check in with yourself. How are you doing in each area?  What would you like to change?

Tell the truth.

Paying Bills

But I would prefer to watch crime shows all day.

What we consider adulting is creating good habits instead of succumbing the infantile battle cry, “I don’t wanna.  You can’t make me.”

Great, now that we have the basics down., we can elevate the conversation to things that source your soul. This can include pampering; however, it also involves activities such as reading, knitting, running, yoga, boxing and/or meal prep. This endless list is deeply personal because it sources YOUR soul and no one else’s.  What are things that restore you?  What things have you be your best self?  What are the things that without them you become cranky?  While it sounds lofty and complex sourcing your soul is very simple.

  1. Create a list
  2. Do those things.

That said, simple does not equal easy.  It requires planning and effort.

Regardless of your inner dialogue, you are #Adulting.

Content provided by Women Belong member Alyssa Dyksterhouse